Oh Happy Day!

Taking a Strengthsfinder pause to celebrate two very special occasions today.

First off, it's my Dad's birthday.

And my dad is simply THE BEST!

On a free day, you'll find him at the beach, possibly perusing an old car show, green ice tea in hand {unsweetened please}, and stopping to eat at El Ranchito or In-N-Out.

With my dad, what you see is what you get. He doesn't play games; he's a straight-shooter. His objectivity and discernment gift him in professional and personal settings.  His ear for piano-playing and passion for music have pleasantly rubbed off on my two boys, who, when with their Papa, request "Sweet Baby James" {aka James Taylor}.

The older I get, the more I desire to emulate my dad. I admire his calm demeanor, and steadfast faith. His loyalty to my mom and our family is unwavering. He's consistent. When I close my eyes, I play the Dad reel and see him chuckling, shoulders rising and falling, taking off his glasses to wipe away the laugh tears. Oh, his laugh!

And his wisdom. When he speaks, my inner ears perk forward to catch each word, even those unsaid. To this day, I can recount his take on the following topics...
on failures... don't look back, move forward.
on family roadtrips... we'll be there in 15 minutes!
on dessert... it has to have chocolate either in, or on it!
on people that are hard to love... just love them!
on life... love God, love your family, and do your best!

So it's no wonder, he used his noggin' and got married on his birthday, thus celebrating today's second celebration... my Mom and Dad's Anniversary!
41 years to be exact!

41 amazing years of  joy, commitment, serving God together, modeling love and friendship, and exercising compromise!
I'm amazed after all these years, how much they enjoy spending time together. Because they do it often. Like every day! Get up together, drive to work together, work at the same Middle School together, and encourage the same group of teachers together. Every Tuesday night their home is open to their Church Care Group, praying for others and soaking in life with old and new friends.

Beyond the fact that they are still married after all these years, the kicker for me, is how much they stinkin' love one another. After four decades, they've coursed through career changes and simultaneous jobs, miscarriages, and room additions. They've shared sorrows in burying one or both parents, while rejoicing at the birth of their grandsons and grand-daughter. Legacy-builders is what they are. And they do it with class!

Oh, Happy Day, Dad {Pops}! and Happy Anniversary to you and Mom! Today, I gift you with a Prayer of Blessing. A blessing is what you both are, and may these words ring in your hearts as a reminder:

Father, bless Mom and Dad today. Bring boundless episodes of shoulder-raising laughter. Renew in them a sense of their calling, both individually and as a team~ a calling not of doing, but of being. Whisper peace to their hearts regarding the concerns they don't voice, and surround them with people that are life-giving and encouraging. May you multiply their years ahead, and continue to open opportunities for them to share You with their neighbors. Remind them they are loved. They are valuable. They are priceless~ to us, and You. Bless them today Lord, and every day that follows.

Dear Bry,

I love that eight years ago
we
thee
wed!

And what an adventure it's been!

 

I love...

that every time we drive along the coast, my arm automatically reaches to take the wheel, while you crane your neck and transport you and your board to the ocean waves,

your unruly, right eyebrow,

that I still get the tingles when you wink at me,

that you "feet snuggle",

that you look forward to your time with the boys in the mornings,

that you grill like a rockstar,

that we've lived in Brea, Yorba Linda, Atascadero, Templeton, Anaheim Hills, and now Huntington Beach... each place we've grown closer,

that you enjoy making our house a home,

that your heart beats for hospitality, and we don't think twice about inviting friends over for dinner on Friday evenings,

that I've never seen you without a goatee,

that you use our family room rug as your wrestling mat. Double leg take-down!,

that you're always up for an adventure,

that you celebrate the simple splurges, like after-dinner walks around the neighborhood,

that we are a great team,

that you empower my passions.~ when you surprised me with a laptop and a note encouraging me to write my heart out, was the best gift anyone has ever given me!

your sentimental spirit,

that when you get passionate about something, everyone knows about it,

your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, and the fact that you share what He's put on your heart,

the way you initiate couch dates ~ no TV, just us, sharing and catching up,

that our parents are friends,

your freckles,

that you encourage me to have my girl time, and I celebrate your hobbies,

your creativity, and eye for design,

that you enjoy antiquing with me,

that we are total foodies,




that you value our family and make that a priority!

Happy 8 years, babe! I love doing life with my best friend!

I love you...

SO MUCH!!!

Marriage

April, we will celebrate our 8th Wedding Anniversary!

Eight.

It has a nice, even sound to it.

It's not the 5th anniversary, and certainly not a big to-do like 10, but it has a comfortable, in-the-middle-tone to its special place as our eighth year of life together.

Eight fits us quite well these days.

These days of God's Best, where we are settling into the rhythm of life in Huntington Beach.

Many seasons of marriage have led up to this year of Eight.

Bliss.
Adventure.
Growth.
Life.
Awe.
Challenge.
Direction.

And now.
Year 8, a year protected in the prayed for, and wrapped in God's promises... this may just be the best year yet!

 And to to cheer it on, to go before our 8th Anniversary and welcome it boldly and confidently, we opted for a Marriage Conference, The Marriage You've Always Wanted, with Dr. Gary Chapman, this past weekend.

Do you know the best part about it?

No, it wasn't the fabulous dinner we shared at an intimate Cuban restaurant with some friends before the first evening session.

Or listening to the down-to-earth, fuh-nee, practical Gary Chapman, who, when I closed my eyes, his North Carolina accent transported me to a calm, Nicholas Sparks beach.

Nor was it even the child-free weekend we had, because our amazing brother and sister-in-law offered to watch our boys, so we could have quality time.

The best part was walking into the conference with a healthy, thankful approach on our marriage.

Because it's not always that way.
Healthy and thankful.

We've had our marriage spikes of hurt, resentment, discouragement, and complacency.

Through the valleys and ski jumps, I am blessed to have a best friend, that together, we choose to grow and heal, we choose one another, and walk forward side-by-side, onto the marriage coaster.

The timing of this recent marriage conference could have easily fallen during one of our flavorless marriage dips, and we, no doubt, would have walked into it, desperate and clinging, raw wounds and calloused hearts. It wouldn't have been a very fun approach.

But the timing was now. The present. Freedom. Going because it could only make us stronger.

I'm so glad we went.

Layers upon layers, of marriage wisdom was whispered to our ears.

Wonderful reminders about communication, love languages, and not speaking out of our emotions.

If I had to gift wrap the gems, the reminders he spoke just to me, lay them in a delicate glass box, and see them first thing every morning for the rest of my life, these are the gems you would peer through the box...

~  Communication: tell one another 3 things that happened to you today and how you felt about them. This opens up doors to talk, and you learn more about your spouse.

~ Pray together {this is a tough one for us~ great intentions but no follow-through} BUT, Dr. Chapman encouraged us to hold hands and pray silently to God. When you finish praying, simply say Amen and wait for your spouse. The power of praying together is really about praying to God, not one another. Love this point!!

~ Talk about your love language {they can change over the years} and love your spouse in his/her love language, not yours.
We touched on this later and took away practical ways to love one another daily.
Bry {acts of service} feels loved when I pack him a lunch for work.
I {quality time} feel loved when Bry initiates conversation about my day, before he turns on the TV or tackles a project.

~ Don't talk out of emotions.  If a conversation gets heated, it's wise to take some time to cool off and regroup.

~ Great questions to ask one another:
1. What can I do to help you?
2. How can I make your life easier?
3. How can I be a better spouse to you?

~ And the most sparkling gem of all, marriage is ministry!
If I serve and love on others, why wouldn't I want to serve my spouse?

Plus, we are excited to delve into The 5 Love Languages of Children, so we not only love one another in our specific love language, but our boys too! There's gonna be a whole lotta love in our fam!

What are some marriage gems you've learned along the way?