Life lessons, Insight, and God Growth

I'm learning a lot right now.
About myself.
About life.
About the kind of person God is creating and redefining in me.

Allow me to unzip my heartstrings and pull out the raw, real guts of life and share some of it with you...

I want to be more patient. With my family. With my boys. With my husband. So, when I start to get anxious, and I feel my heart-rate climbing, I've turned into a crazy woman that prays out loud! Yep, I literally say, "Lord, please give me patience, 'cuz I just may lose it!" If you see a short, curly-haired gal walkin' around Orange County with two adorably, energetic boys, looking toward heaven, and waving her hands frantically, it's just me praying out loud.

The older I get, the more "me" time I need. To recharge, regroup, and refocus. It's better for all of us, trust me!

I miss working. I'm looking for a part-time job, to help our family financially, and use my gifts and skills. Not sure what that is, but if I hear of a dream opportunity that involves writing, decorating, creativity, I'm there :)

I'm intentionally surrounding myself with life-giving friends that point me back to Christ, "sit in life" with me, encourage, call me out on where I need to grow, and desire to soak up every minute of life.

I'm a Nordy's girl with a TJ Maxx budget!

I have to keep my mind going with at least one or two reads at all times! Currently, Sarah's Key and Imaginary Jesus. Go. Buy. Both. Now. :)

I'm stronger than I think I am. In the last 7 1/2 years of marriage, we've moved four times {not including the three times we've stayed with my folks during transition}, worked at three churches {currently preparing to move to a fourth church}, been through extreme joys and dark seasons. God has nothing but the most amazing plan for our family and although I'm scared for this next adventure, I want nothing more than to participate in the story He has written.

I have no will-power when it comes to chocolate. An adorable apothecary jar with the word Essentials scrawled across it, sits in the family room. My mom insists on keeping it filled with miniature candy bars. My rear and midsection thank you for that, Mom. Must. Say. No! Or at least cut back to only three or four a day! Geesh!

I feel guilty that I don't always enjoy being a mom.

I get caught up in comparison, and am learning to appreciate and thank God for making me the only Bekah Jane on this planet. Amazing that self-discovery is a life-long journey!

I have to be outdoors, walking, playing at the beach... I wouldn't be a good Washington resident.

My heart is stirred by creativity, decor, and little things that make people feel touched.

I'm 30 and oftentimes think, "I'm married and have two kids. How did this happen? And why don't I feel more put together?" :)

I can feel it. I'm at a launching point where everything that has led up to this point, is going "to be made beautiful in His time." My time has come.

I'm here, Lord. Use me. Teach me. Have your way with me. I'm a bit fragile right now, but that may be the ideal spot to be.

Cheers to life lessons, insight and God growth!