Mama-To-Be Words of Encouragement!

Last Sunday, my sister-n-laws, mom-n-law, and I had the privilege of throwing our sis-n-law, Kristy, a baby shower. She is having their first, a boy, this October, and the family is pretty much beyond excited. Partly because it's a baby, and who doesn't get excited about a wee little munch? And partly because this little guy is a miracle! After miscarrying three times, her fourth pregnancy took, and I think it may have something to do with the stubbornness on the Pogue side :) Regardless, I can't wait to meet my newest nephew and watch life unfold in front of our family.

After a yummy brunch of asparagus egg souffle in petite ramekins, coffee cake, fruit kabobs, iced coffee and peach bellinis, the intimate group of gals laughed over a sonogram game in which we had to identify baby parts. After having two children, you'd think I'd be better at it, but still managed to mix up the boy parts and girl parts. I know!

Before opening gifts, I shared some words of encouragement, a mini devotion of sorts. As I reflected on what to share, I was overwhelmed at the thought that my babies are 3 and almost 1. 'Time flies' is beyond cliche' and when thinking of what to encourage her with, the following words came to mind...

~ Expectations: talk about them. Before the baby comes home from the hospital.
One of the sweetest date nights between Bry and I, was our final dinner as just the two of us. We sat at our favorite cafe in Paso Robles, Berryhill Bistro. Over raspberry chipotle chicken paninis, sweet potato fries with garlic aoli, and ice teas with large lemon wedges, we shared our hearts, fears, questions and wonders of what life would look life from the next day on.
... do we want it to just be the three of us when we get home?
... what about nights? Bryan insisted on getting up, changing the boys, bringing them to me, and putting them down {a rockstar, he is}
... schedules, food, the list goes on...
Talk about what you expect and listen to what your spouse expects. As Bry always says, "Unsaid expectations are unmet expectation." So share away!

~ Be a team
Before the baby, there is just the two of you. That, above all, is your family. The little one is simply joining you guys. Therefore, parent and model in a way that the lil' one knows you love each other. Deeply. Look out for one another. Communicate. Hear one another, and listen through tears, and sleepless nights, and crying for no reason. Compromise. Continue date nights when you are ready, and pour into your marriage. Kids, even babies, know a solid home when they are in one. A home where mom and dad put one another first, after Christ.

~ Keep Christ at the center
Once the little munch arrives, it is easy to think of nothing else. Rightly so, they need you. And between feeding, changing outfits, diapers, trying to find time for you to eat, and surviving on five minutes of sleep in 24 hours, it's amazing that new parents survive. But in the small, quiet moments of nursing or giving bottles, pray over that little angel. Thank God for the blessing they are. Ask God to even now, reveal their little personality, and encourage them in that.
The sweetest times are when we pray over, or for our kids. Together.
Life gets busy. But it's no excuse to take Christ out of the center. We need Him as we do this crazy parenting thing.

~ Laugh. Or else you'll cry.
New moms and dads have a veil of exhaustion over them for the first couple of months. Between trying to sleep, still work {for the dad or both}, it's a sheer miracle the kid gets fed, dressed and napped :) So give yourself grace. Lots of it. Because we are all learning and messing up, and re-trying. And if we don't laugh at ourselves, we'll go crazy. Or looney. Or have multiple meltdowns in one day. All of which I have done. So laugh.

~ Make your own family traditions
I'm a huge fan of family traditions. Partly because of the fond memories I have from growing up in a family that had some pretty fun traditions, but also because traditions cement families and encourage uniqueness.
Getting woken up late at night to be taken outside to look at the stars, hours of fort-making, toad-in-the-hole breakfasts, and putting makeup on my grandma, are a few of my favorite childhood traditions.
Start your own. Aside from the everyday schedule of meals, naps, errands, bath and bedtime, what will you do, who will you be, what adventure will you have that sets your family apart? At the end of your life, nothing could be better than sighing a content sigh as you bask in memories in family memories.

Pogue traditions we've created over the years are simple:
*Summer night swims in the pool once it's dark, with the pool lights on. June bugs flying about.
*Impromptu ice cream outings.
*Errands aren't errands~ they are adventures to be had.
*Letting Tanner {and Ty in the future} sit on the counter and "help" me make chocolate chip cookies. He loves to add the ingredients and lick the spoon after. Then, we surprise friends with a visit, and plate of warm goodies!
* Vacations just the four of us.
*A jar of saved pennies, for "fountain wishes."
And more to come...

~ Know you are loved, prayed for, and not alone!
As a family, we are here for you. As friends we are here for you. When you are tired, we are here for you, to watch the babe for a bit. To offer you a date night. We are praying for you as parents, teachers and models.
We encourage to be the parents God has called you to be. Specifically for this baby. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing, or not doing. If their kid is rolling over, or talking yet. Nursing until they are two, or doing a bottle. Stay focused on your lil' man, and together, the three of you will be wrapped in love, and prayer, and will do great. We love you all. To the moon and back. :)