Tanner's Prayer

Today was the ideal vacation day. Plenty of relaxation, sprinkled with out-of-the-norm outings, and ending how all ideal days should~ with a bowl of ice cream!

Yes, it's true that I ordered Cookies-N-Cream and ended up devouring my hubby's Chocolate Almond Waffle Cone! Please don't judge, you would have done the same, too!


For starters, there was sleeping in until 9:30am! Which, for those of you with kids, is the equivalent to 2 in the afternoon. I might as well have eaten bon-bons and stayed in my fat pants all day... it was decadent. I do dress after enjoying a fabulous cup of coffee in a pearl, skinny mug that seems so vacationy and different than my chubby mugs at home, mugs that require both of my hands wrapped around to meet fingers. Even using different bath towels, and eating on resort china lends a subtle nuance of staying in a place away from home, a place appropriately named vacation.

There was the walk with cousins and my sister-in-law Rondi, noting trees that dance and shimmer, their green coins like tiny cymbals. Here, the air is different, crisp and fresh, lacking the saltiness of our beach town.

There was lunch, Bryan and I side by side, making turkey and provolone sandwiches, a treat from the independent, everyday schedule of just me and the boys. Smiling 'round the table, our mouths covered in chip crumbs, we are a family oblivious to the day, time, or urgency of a schedule.

There was venturing into Bend, The Old Mill, window shopping, and trying my new soy palette at an homey organic coffee shop. We discover a foodies dream store ~ selling spices, rubs and extracts, their top-seller, a pesto spice, popular when seasoning chicken or making guacamole. I'll be visiting again before the week is over.

There was spinach salad dinner, a feast for our eyes and mouths, inviting a colorful party of red and orange sweet peppers, grilled chicken, green onions, black beans, yellow sweet corn, drizzled with home-made cilantro garlic dressing.

There was the Fish Hatchery adventure. Sweatshirts on the inseparable cousins, we watch the horizon tug at the sun, drawing its warm temperature down with the ball of fire, each child gifted a quarter. Coin in, turn the handle, open lever, and out spill pellets ~ fish food for 24-inch rainbow trouts. Jumping, water rippling, the kids can't suppress their delight in feeding thousands of open-mouthed trout. Ty's chilly hand holds mine, tight. Mostly to ground himself from falling in the water, or perhaps, because he likes holding his mama's hand. Either way, I'll take it.

Umbrellaing the coming and goings, the savoring and sippings, is the chipping away that God is doing in my spirit today. It's slow-coming, like drinking salty, hot cocoa and feeling the all-over warmth seconds later. I'm steeping in His time, in His teaching, in His soft whispers. My brain is doing much thinking, so much that it carries over into my dreams, echoing His words about what I must let go of,  how to find freedom in His affirmation alone. I fight the urgency to learn this lesson and move on. Instead, I take advantage of the non-hurried, vacation mindset my thoughts and heart are in, following suit with His Truth prodding throughout the day.

And it's big! Life-changing big! What God's Spirit is uncovering in the sticky corners of my heart- scooping and scraping out to make room for space and light- will be a mountain step in my faith journey. It's a process not to be hurried or forced, but to lean into, and listen, as if my life depends on it. Because it does. My life must be changed. I can't sense His tug, and ignore it. I must turn over control to the Maker of All, allowing Him to transform this inner war into peace. Where self-talk or positive outlook can be fabricated from my merit, His work will heal completely, as only the Healer can... I can't wait to share the process with you!

Finally, there was Tanner's bed-time prayer: 
"God, I love you, I love you brave. I hope that everyone {he names every. single. person. in our family} is having a good time this week. You make my heart happy...  I pray that you are proud of me..."

From the mouth of babes. It doesn't get more simple and sweet than that.

As I settle into an over-sized bed, much larger than at home, I echo my son's prayer...

God, I love you, I love you BRAVE! You make my heart happy. I pray that you are proud of me.

There, the perfect end to an ideal vacation day.

No comments:

Post a Comment