I'M a ROCKSTAR... or am I?

Busy is an understatement. This month has been full to the overflowing brim.

Mostly of commitment-oriented responsibilities and sporadic sprinkles- no, make that downpours- of needing-to-be-there moments.

Take the other day.

Editing the final words on the preschool parent handbook for the next day's meeting, adding more raisins to the boy's oatmeal, tossing the fourth load into dryer, washing four angelic hands, picking up the house- not deep cleaning- for the morning playdate, thinking, praying, then updating social media for HomeFront magazine, double-checking the fridge for sourdough bread, a snack? already?... and all before 9am.

From playdate lunch, laughing, pouring waters, pressing panini-maker, sharing hearts, washing four dirt-digging hands, phone ringing with editor's encouragement to re-write, re-shape, back to the drawing board, set up time to meet friend for Nurture newsletter, call babysitter about Life Group time, put date night on calendar, another snack?, ____ is on my heart- send her encouraging text, put Ty down for nap, do puzzle with T, have I even peed today?, ... all before 1pm.

One sleeping, the other boy having quiet time, I pour over the almost ready website, smoothing words, downloading window pictures, clothes pile mountains on the leather corner chair, is the laundry-folding fairy coming today?, four-year old feet protrude around the baseboards "Mom, my eyes won't close.", he pulls up a seat at the table, new puzzle begun, juice poured, "cheers," phone rings about arrangements for carpooling to baby shower, hmmm... maybe I should get in the shower... all before 3pm.

Create hand-made baby card, tie with twine, crack eggs, little hands help me stir, brownies into the oven, apply mascara, towel-dry hair, check in with hubby- how's your day going?, jot notes for Room Parent Meeting, print off cupcake toppers for brownie bites, scissors to flag shape, pen year-of verse, prep dinner, "Mommmmmm!!!! Ty's up!... all before 5pm.

Whew! After a day like this, you know what I thought?

I thought, I'm a freakin' rockstar, aren't I?

And I was.

Except for one life-extended pivotal dependency...

Him!

All day, I'd completed, baked, discussed, shared, hugged, thought, dreamt out of my doing, void of drawing strength from the Strength-Giver, the Life-Gifter.

Spurred by self-sufficient adrenaline and positive pep-talks, I'd maintained a self-timed pace, rather than being fueled by Him.

How often do I do that?

Trust in myself, my energy, my ideas, my agenda, as opposed to laying the day's details in the palm of the Peace-Giver, the Security-Supplier.

The sad realization is that I can continue this way- fueled by the power of me- for months, years- the same way a church can do ministry void of The Spirit- until one day... air stuffy, life vacant of Life, hope lost, a shadow of what could be.

God, forgive me for launching into my daily routine, pure intentions- yes, but forfeiting dependence on  You, the Strength-Giver, the Life-Gifter.

And all the while, He harbors no guilt, closes no hands, but welcomes with unconditional grace, promising new mercies every morning.

This verse, our family verse, now welcomes each dawn. A reminder to focus eyes heavenward for the day's strength, an eternal life cord.

Sure, I'll slip back into me-dependent days, believing I'm a rockstar of my own doing, but of this I'm confident:
an internal light source is always brighter than an external bulb threatening to burn out when kept on for too long!

The Strength of POSITIVITY!

After taking this bad boy, strengths test {Strengthsfinder} our 5 day mini-journey begins with a breakdown of my top 5 strengths. I trust you are discovering your own strengths along with me...

If you haven't yet taken the Strengthsfinder Test, stop what you're doing, and order the book here. I'll wait :)

My numero uno, top strength:

POSITIVITY

People who are especially talented in the Positivity theme have an enthusiasm that is contagious. They are upbeat and can get others excited about what they are going to do.

Well, there you have it! Shut the book. We're done.

Nah...

Believe it or not, Positivity as my #1 Strength surprised me! As much as I want to see life as half-full, I often think of ultra-positive people as, how shall we say this, um, er, having their head in the clouds?!

However, according to Strengthsfinder, I was encouraged to learn the following Ideas for Action about the strength of Positivity:

* "Explain that your enthusiasm is not simple naivety. You know that bad things can happen; you simply prefer to focus on the good things." "...Your positive approach will be most powerful when others realize it is grounded in reality." {p. 143, Strengthsfinder}

Well, this sums up my head in the clouds idea. Yes, it's true. In a world of such despair and hurt, I choose to focus on celebrating the small things. This is also why I enjoy unzipping my heart and sharing the contents with others~ to display the not-so-pretty-packaged aspects of life, all the while focusing on celebrating the growth that will come from those challenges.
For example, the possibility that unwelcome spots in my dad's lungs may indicate cancer is simply not an option ~ I choose healthy him, unless tests show otherwise. And if that dreaded day dooms, we will walk as a family, faithfully trusting God's Best.

* "Plan highlight activities for your friends and colleagues. For example, find ways to turn small achievements into events, plan regular celebrations that others can look forward to, or capitalize on the year's holidays and festivals." {p.142, Strengthsfinder}

Okay, this is completely me ~ I live to celebrate a friend or family's special news. Not only the obvious occasions like birthdays or babies, but bringing a fresh bouquet to cheer on the start of your new job, a card expressing prayers when you are going through a tough season, and specific texts recognizing why I believe you are super great!
As for family traditions, they are pretty much my middle name. I find any excuse to have a good time under the banner of "A new family tradition!" Check out some of our fun family legacies here, here and here.

An 'aha' moment when reading about Positivity:
"Cynics will quickly sap this person's energy. Don't expect him {her} to enjoy cheering up negative people. {S}he will do better when asked to energize basically positive people who are in need of a spark." {p.144, Strengthsfinder}
After reading this, I let it whirl around, dancing with my thoughts and feelings, until I heard the buzzy light bulb current. So that's why I get frustrated when I'm around downers and chronic complainers! And, I don't mean having a bad day here or there. Goodness, I certainly have my fair share of let's-fast-forward-to-tomorrow days. It's the dread of continually attempting to cheer up someone who in all reality, prefers to be cranky! No thank you! I prefer to surround myself with life-giving, uplifting, authentically real peeps!

Positivity!

If it's not a strength you possess, worry not! You have your own top five strengths that create a special version of you. If anything, learn from this strength, and be inspired to understand and relate to Positivity.

Check back tomorrow for my #2 Strength... we may share the same theme :)

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is a positive or negative." ~ W. Clement Stone