Dessert-eating, Futuristic, and Developer Strengths!

As I sit down to my computer to share my final top strengths, I'm happily chomping on a frozen chocolate-chip cookie dough ball. In fact, the birds outside the window are starting back at me, thinking I'm an overgrown chipmunk gone mad! And I have ~ frozen cookie dough balls are the next best thing to heaven!

In fact...
...sound of scooting chair legs... freezer door opens...rummage, rummage...joyful squeal!.. freezer door closes... footsteps... pull chair back in...close eyes... heaven!
A second sphere of chocolate-chip frozen-ness has entered the scene!
Blink.
And, now it's gone!

De-lish!

You should know, Dessert-eating is a top strength that hasn't been mentioned. In fact, it probably takes the cake {no pun intended} as my #1. But alas, there is no Strengthsfinder description on Dessert-eating. Perhaps I'll indulge you later and share my unscientific take on this strength for sweets, but for now, allow me to dial you in on my final two Top Strengths.

Futuristic
People who are especially talented in the Futuristic theme are inspired by the future and what could be. They inspire others with their visions of the future!

Hands-down, my favorite Ideas for Action for the Futuristic theme is this:
"Your Futuristic talents could equip you to be a guide or coach for others. Unlike you, they might not be able to see easily over the horizon. If you catch a vision of what someone could be or do, don't assume that he or she is aware of that potential. Share what you see as a vividly as you can. In doing so, you may inspire someone to move forward." {p.107-108, Strengthsfinder}

As much as I plan, dream, and pray about the future, I attempt {at times force} myself to live fully in the present, being intentional with moments that can crawl, leap, and fly by. As I read about the Futuristic point, the quote above is what resonates most accurately within. I love coming alongside people and helping them reach their potential, achieve their goals, and sometimes, face their fears. From there, nothing stirs my adrenaline more than dreaming alongside of who they can be. I literally get tickled pink when I see the light bulb go on in regards to how they can be made into the best versions of themselves!

For all you Futuristics out there, keep dreaming, and ground it with realistic action!

Last, but not least, the final of my Top Strengths: Developer
People talented in the Developer theme recognize and cultivate the potential in others. They spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.

Silence.

That's funny...

Didn't I just say this?

Some self-learning Ideas for Action points:

 * "Partner with someone with strong Individualization {focusing on the unique qualities of each person}talents. This person can help you see where each person's greatest talents lie. Without this help, your Developer instincts might lead you to encourage people to grow in areas in which they lack real talent." {p.91, Strengthsfinder}

* "...consider the impact of being a "mentor for the moment." Many of the most poignant and memorable developmental moments occur when the right words are delivered at the right time ~ words that clarify understanding, reignite a passion, open eyes to an opportunity, and change a life course." {p.91, Strengthsfinder}

*Your Developer talents might lead you to become so invested in the growth of others that you ignore your own  development. Remember that you cannot give what you do not have. If you want to have a bigger impact on the well-being and growth of others, you need to keep growing yourself. Find a mentor or coach who can invest in you." {p.91-92, Strengthsfinder}
Hmmm... point made. Point taken. Starting today, I will pray for a mentor. Yes, I'm feeling good about this. Anyone?

Content sigh!
What a learning, eye-opening, affirming experience this Strengthsfinder journey has been. Thank you for walking and validating and encouraging alongside me. My prayer is that you too, have been inspired to become a better version of yourself!

Now, if you'll please excuse me...freezer door opens... rummage, rummage...Yay!!

ACTIVATOR: Are you impatient for action?

Does this sound like you?

" 'When can we start?' This is a recurring question in your life. You are impatient for action...you believe action is the best device for learning. You make a decision, you take action, you look at the result, and you learn. This learning informs your next action and your next. How can you grow if you have nothing to react to? Well, you believe you can't. You must put yourself out there. You must take the next step. It is the only way to keep your thinking fresh and informed. The bottom line is this: You know you will be judged not by what you say, not by what you think, but by what you get done. This does not frighten you. It pleases you."

If this accurately describes your take on life, then you too, are an Activator.
Join the impatient club!
Hey, if something needs to be done, by all means, less talk and more do. Let's get 'er done!

However, this is not at the expense of others. Personally, if I'm in a group made up of multiple Activators, I tend to take a backseat and allow those that have to lead, lead. I'm not an Activator because I have to be the one to do it, I just want the job done... Anyone else?

Allow me to paint a classic picture of my Activator-ness in full effect:

When we moved to Atascadero, Bry and I rented an adorable 2 bedroom cottage with a backyard that's fence overlooked the creek. It was a home, with a big yard, one that needed a dog STAT. Our landlords made it clear that pets weren't allowed, but after multiple brownie deliveries, they softened, {no doubt in a chocolate coma} and agreed to let us get a dog.

That was on a Tuesday evening.

Tuesday at midnight, I'm scouring the Internet in search of the perfect lapdog. What dog is good with kids, doesn't shed or slobber, has a great personality?... you get the idea!

At 2am, I've decided our dog will be a Shih-tzu.

Wednesday morning, I'm on the phone with a friend who knows every breeder on the Central Coast, and took some numbers. Fast-forward to after work that same day ~ I'm driving to Creston to meet the possible newest member of our family.

I'll never forget calling Bryan on the way, "Hey, I may be late to church tonight... I'm headed to Creston to see about getting a dog."

Silence.
Followed by laughter.

"You don't waste any time," I hear on the other end.

Sure enough, I fell in love with the tiny puppy and two weeks later, Roxy did join our family.
Get a family dog...
Check!

How's that for "impatient for action"?

If you are an Activator, here are a couple of Ideas for Action that may enhance your strength:

* At work, make sure that your manager judges you on measurable outcomes rather than your process. Your process is not always pretty. {p.42, Strengthsfinder}
That's for sure, but life is a process, one that definitely isn't pretty. Therefore, this point is fine by me.

* You learn more from real experience than from theoretical discussions. To grow, consciously expose yourself to challenging experiences that will test your talents, skills and knowledge.
{p.43, Strengthsfinder}
This explains why philosophy left me grappling...

* You can transform innovative ideas into immediate action. Look for creative and original thinkers, and help them move their ideas from conceptual theory to concrete practice. {p.43, Strengthsfinder}
By far, this is one of my favorite things to do: listen to people's ideas and thoughts, and offer tangible solutions for helping them move forward or get "unstuck."

* Seek work in which you can make your own decisions and act on them. In particular, look for start-up or turnaround situations.{p.42, Strengthsfinder}
Amen! The ideal career is one that I lead. Looking back on past jobs, the ones where I felt stifled and misunderstood, were those in which I was micro-managed and without a voice.

Now, if you'll excuse me, the idea of how to make Tanner's birthday invites just came to me...you'll find yours in the mailbox tomorrow :)

The Strength of EMPATHY!

Thanks for joining me on Day 2 as I discover my top strengths, based on the affirming book Strengthsfinder.

Who wants to take a guess at #2 of my top 5 Strengths?

EMPATHY

People who are especially talented in the Empathy theme can sense the feelings of other people by imagining themselves in others' lives or others' situations.

"You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person's perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person's predicament- this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings- to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life..." {p.97, Strengthsfinder}

Does this describe you? Do you feel others' sorrow and elation? Do you sense the tone of a room as soon as you enter?

Then, you too, my friend, have the strength of Empathy.

As I write this, I'm half-listening/half-watching Master Chef, where everyday people use their cooking skills to rival in a high-stakes competition. One contender, a blind lady, who, mind you, is slicing a lemon, is sharing her story about how her sight was lost. All the while, she tends to the bubbling pot, feels about for the proper utensils, and adds spices to her gourmet dish. Humbly, she explains that she has the upper hand in this competition because she truly tastes the food and avoids having to see the others' dishes.
...And I'm crying. I'm feeling her passion and smelling her hard work. The admiration tears fall because she has overcome.

For those with a top strength of Empathy, you will benefit from these Ideas for Action:

*Sometimes empathy does not require words at all. A kind gesture may be all someone needs to be reassured..." {p.99, Strengthsfinder}

Have you been in a situation when someone is noticeably pained or jubilant? It's okay to hug, or meet their gaze, or just "sit in it" with them. Oftentimes, words unsaid leave the most comfort.

*Consider serving others as a confidante or mentor. Because trust is paramount to you, people are likely to feel comfortable approaching you with any need. Your discretion and desire to be genuinely helpful will be greatly valued. {p.99, Strengthsfinder}

Keep in mind that while others' may confide in you, the hand-in-hand compliment to empathy is judgement, which holds you responsible for how you handle their emotions. Their situation is not ammunition to better advance you, nor is it appropriate to speak ill of them, but to simply understand.


To understand someone. It's not sympathizing or condoning one's choices, but sharing their felt emotions. What better gift, than to naturally feel tears when one weeps, or scream with joy when celebration is deserved.

Unaware that Empathy was one of my top strengths, ironically, I wrote The Gift of Empathy last winter. You can read it here. Enjoy!

For all you Empathizers out there, continue to feel others emotions. Allow it make you more compassionate and thankful to share this life with individuals, each writing their unique story.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey

The Strength of POSITIVITY!

After taking this bad boy, strengths test {Strengthsfinder} our 5 day mini-journey begins with a breakdown of my top 5 strengths. I trust you are discovering your own strengths along with me...

If you haven't yet taken the Strengthsfinder Test, stop what you're doing, and order the book here. I'll wait :)

My numero uno, top strength:

POSITIVITY

People who are especially talented in the Positivity theme have an enthusiasm that is contagious. They are upbeat and can get others excited about what they are going to do.

Well, there you have it! Shut the book. We're done.

Nah...

Believe it or not, Positivity as my #1 Strength surprised me! As much as I want to see life as half-full, I often think of ultra-positive people as, how shall we say this, um, er, having their head in the clouds?!

However, according to Strengthsfinder, I was encouraged to learn the following Ideas for Action about the strength of Positivity:

* "Explain that your enthusiasm is not simple naivety. You know that bad things can happen; you simply prefer to focus on the good things." "...Your positive approach will be most powerful when others realize it is grounded in reality." {p. 143, Strengthsfinder}

Well, this sums up my head in the clouds idea. Yes, it's true. In a world of such despair and hurt, I choose to focus on celebrating the small things. This is also why I enjoy unzipping my heart and sharing the contents with others~ to display the not-so-pretty-packaged aspects of life, all the while focusing on celebrating the growth that will come from those challenges.
For example, the possibility that unwelcome spots in my dad's lungs may indicate cancer is simply not an option ~ I choose healthy him, unless tests show otherwise. And if that dreaded day dooms, we will walk as a family, faithfully trusting God's Best.

* "Plan highlight activities for your friends and colleagues. For example, find ways to turn small achievements into events, plan regular celebrations that others can look forward to, or capitalize on the year's holidays and festivals." {p.142, Strengthsfinder}

Okay, this is completely me ~ I live to celebrate a friend or family's special news. Not only the obvious occasions like birthdays or babies, but bringing a fresh bouquet to cheer on the start of your new job, a card expressing prayers when you are going through a tough season, and specific texts recognizing why I believe you are super great!
As for family traditions, they are pretty much my middle name. I find any excuse to have a good time under the banner of "A new family tradition!" Check out some of our fun family legacies here, here and here.

An 'aha' moment when reading about Positivity:
"Cynics will quickly sap this person's energy. Don't expect him {her} to enjoy cheering up negative people. {S}he will do better when asked to energize basically positive people who are in need of a spark." {p.144, Strengthsfinder}
After reading this, I let it whirl around, dancing with my thoughts and feelings, until I heard the buzzy light bulb current. So that's why I get frustrated when I'm around downers and chronic complainers! And, I don't mean having a bad day here or there. Goodness, I certainly have my fair share of let's-fast-forward-to-tomorrow days. It's the dread of continually attempting to cheer up someone who in all reality, prefers to be cranky! No thank you! I prefer to surround myself with life-giving, uplifting, authentically real peeps!

Positivity!

If it's not a strength you possess, worry not! You have your own top five strengths that create a special version of you. If anything, learn from this strength, and be inspired to understand and relate to Positivity.

Check back tomorrow for my #2 Strength... we may share the same theme :)

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is a positive or negative." ~ W. Clement Stone

Strengthsfinder in a week!

Have you seen this book before?



The last time I laid eyes on this personalized strengths test,  I was 18 ~ a freshmen in college. Confident, yet lacking life experience. Believing more in the idea of me, than the actual me.

Since graduating college, there's been a plethora of times I've tried to squeeze myself, my skills, and strengths into a shape clearly intended for someone other than me.

If only I try harder.
If only I weren't so sensitive.
If only I could do the career they are doing.
If only I could be the kind of mom she is.


If only.

Here's the great thing about the Strengthsfinder ~ it doesn't tell me how to conquer my weaknesses, but better, how to enhance my strengths. If I'm honest, that's what I need, what we all need, not to be a mere replication of another, but to illuminate the best versions of ourselves.

Now, 13 years later, I thought it beneficial to get my hands on this book in light of now~ a wife of 8 years, a mom of two boys, with jobs I've thrived in, and positions I've dreaded, areas I've matured, and hopes of continued personal growth. A more comfortable, dialed down, vulnerable me.

Snuggled in the corner of our couch, laptop in place, and my all-time favorite worship song singing to my thoughts {Be My Everything}, I took the Strengthsfinder test again. With fresh eyes and an honest heart.

And the results were me. My true me. Funny enough, my top strength at 18 didn't even make the now list.

Over the next five days, I'll share my top five strengths. Not for a pat-on-the-back, but to let you closer into my soul and mind, and maybe to share some funny stories along the way. My hope is to inspire you to build on your strengths.

In the meantime, run, don't walk to your computer and order this book here!

Knowing your unique strengths will only make you illuminate brighter and cast light on seemingly otherwise shadows. Who knows? It may be the validation you need to quit a no-win job, tackle a dream, or change your perspective from trying to be something you're not, to living fully in who you are.

Travel with me on this five day mini-journey. Let's get to know one another and ourselves better. We'll be better for it!